Hide and Seek

Lazy summer days bring with them the thrill of relaxation, the idealization of freedom and the excitement of adventure.  The playground is were we find children playing a game of hide and seek.  Smiles rush their faces as they know it is indeed time to find their best ever hiding spot, one where no one will ever find them; thus making them victorious.  My life, it seems, was one big game of hide and seek for I wanted no one; no one, to find me.  Cleverly concealing myself in the shadows of an oak tree, between two trash cans, inside the tube slide, or among a crowd of people, I was like a chameleon ever changing with my surroundings so as to never be seen.  Ever the victor, my friends no longer invited me to partake in their game for their search for me became too arduous. There could be two or ten people looking at once and still they would not find me until dark, when it was time to return for supper.  They gave up.  They did not want to take the time to search, for the life of a child is in the here and now; the longer it took to find one person the less opportunity anyone else had to win the game.  The easy way out was to just forget to invite me to play hide and seek.  Sure, I was the first chosen for dodge ball or kickball for my athleticism was the mask they knew well and used to their advantage.  I was taught that my worth was not in me but what I could do for others, what their gain was if I were to be their teammate.  Years passed, no longer enticed to play kids games, I still found a way to hide for I knew no one would seek.  I became so good at hiding; that at times, I even lost myself.  These ingenious hiding spots, ones which even fooled me, were no match for you.  No matter how camouflaged I was to my surroundings, you found me in record time.  How could I be found and found so quickly?  Was it something I was wearing?  Did I make a noise?  Then I realized it wasn’t me at all; rather it was you.  You took the time to search.  You took the time to notice.  You took the time to listen.  With each search you found me, not the camouflaged, masked me, but the real me.  My eyes, you looked into my eyes, and recognized them as the beacon to my soul.  You did not belittle me for hiding so long or in the wrong spot; rather, you held out your hand, helped me up and embraced me, congratulating me on yet another good hiding spot.  It was your encouragement, acceptance and love that told me that the game was over, for I no longer had a need to hide.  No longer willing to hide; yet rejuvenated in love and a love for life, we reinvent a game from childhood; truth or dare.  Yet, with you there is no dare, for there is nothing I would not tell you, nothing I would not share with you for I know I am safe with you; that you guard the feelings and truths of my heart as though they were your own.  I dare tell you the debilitating thoughts which arose in my mind while I was hiding, I dare tell you the hurt I felt when no one came looking for me, I dare share with you the feelings of terror when I found myself lost in the most hidden of places for I know you will not run but stay close and comfort me.  This darkness was my life yet it no longer is my life for you have treated me with such love, respect, and dignity that I have found my worth, found God within me and the freedom to be me enveloped in friendship.  Truth is what remains; truth coupled with trust, embraced in love, engulfed in safety, touched by the hand of God.