Love Perfectly

I am here, Lord, do with me as You will.  I am here, Lord, but my mind wanders and in my wandering so I often become anxious.  See, I say do with me as You will then I talk about anxiousness and wandering, can You work with such a creature as myself?  I know perfection is not something You seek but these days I am all over the place, these days thoughts last but a fleeting moment as tiredness and sadness fill my being.  I am sure you have called upon my name, please do not misunderstand my distraction for blatant ignorance of Your call; I want to respond, I want to do your will yet I have allowed earthly strongholds to overtake my conscious thus barring me from our intimate connection.  Thinking I need that which humanity covets, I seek such tangibility only to find emptiness and loneliness.  I am made whole in You, I am brought to life in You love, made complete in Your promises of togetherness and holiness so why do I seek fulfillment in that which superficial and, yes, tangible?  Our bond, Your love, is much more powerful than any discoverable human understanding for it breaks through the barriers of implied reason as it reaches to the depths of my soul, embarking upon the truths interwoven into my being.  These truths I know, these truths fill my being with love, on these truths I rely and yet I stray from such truths in the hopes of one more day, one more day I know an impossibility.  Why do I intertwine the joy of a reunion of a soul and the sadness of a soul's departure from its human existence?  Confusion clouds my vision and I fall prey to the distractions of the mind.  I want not to be distracted, I want to hear You call out my name, I want for You to use me as You will.  And so I pray:

Speak, Lord, Your servant is learning how to listen.  There will be times You will need to repeat Your call, repeat Your instruction not because I am ignoring You but rather because I am lost within myself.  I ask Your patience with me, Oh Lord, for though You strengthen me, I sometimes revert to idea of human strength which is no match for the spiritual fortitude which You so graciously provide.  I want to do Your will for when I do, I feel this closeness that I have yet to replicate under human conditions and yet humanity is what pulls me away from You.  I am growing stronger, Lord, I am listening for Your voice, seeking Your face throughout my daily activities so have patience with me, Your willing servant.  This closeness, this love that I feel, humanity tells me it is not real and though I know otherwise, sometimes I fall prey to the ridiculousness of humanity.  Faith shows me the route to Your love, faith takes the lead that I may be filled with Your love.  Fill me, Oh Lord, fill me with Your love that the clouds in my mind may dissipate so I may clearly see Your face and feel Your tender touch upon my life.   The bond we share is an intricate lattice beautifully woven in love, in peace, in hope, in faith, and in truth; this bond I can and do share with others making for realization of eternal love, eternal togetherness.  A bond such as this cannot be broken no mater the distraction; this be my comfort, this be my solace.  So speak, Lord, instruct me in the ways of faith, in the ways of compassion, in the ways in which You wish me to venture.  Though my hearing is imperfect my love for You is perfect for You have shown me perfect love, a love which I attempt to replicate.  No conditions have You ever placed upon love and no conditions does my love contain.  Slowly I am learning, Lord, give to me more responsibility, send me where I can best make a difference, and I will go for I know You will always be at my side.  The struggles of humanity I am filtering through faith while learning not to criticize my imperfections thus I give to You my life, my thoughts, my being that I may grow in Your love and become the person You already know me to be.  Speak, Lord, Your servant is ready.  

This is my prayer, these the words of my heart; Your imperfect servant is ready to love perfectly.