Things are not always as they seem

The days are long, the nights even longer

I call out your name but you do not answer

The sun seems less bright

There are days it hides behind every cloud

I cannot see your face, where have you gone?

Why do you hide from me?

You told me to speak your name and you would be there

What happened to this promise?

At night, I shiver

The air is cold, it is dark and I cannot find my way

In this darkness I fear my next step

My sight taken from me, tentatively I step

Afraid of where this path leads I become paralyzed

The what ifs and how about scenarios plague my mind

Darkness is all that I see

Fear is all that I feel

Why do you torment me so?

I have done what I was suppose to do

I am telling you what I need, why do to you give it to me? 

I see everyone else happy

They smile and laugh

And I sit hear, afraid of my own shadow

This is not fair

You said to follow you

You said come with me

You said trust me

I did follow you

I walked with you

I trusted you

And look where I am, I am lost

No smile do I keep

Whimpers and cries my song 

Can you not hear my cries?

Do you not feel my pain?

Why do you not answer me?

I thought we were in this together

You said forever connected

What happened to this connection?

The cold night air chills my bones 

In the fetal position I lay hoping to find warmth

I am tired of this fight

Tired of wandering in darkness

Tired of wondering when you will answer me

Maybe I should do what others have done and walk away

They seem happy

You promised me joy

I have only fear coupled with sadness

Please answer me!

I cannot take this silence any longer

I need you

You promised

I guess it was all a lie

I guess the idea of a connection was a sham

All this time I felt...

Well it matters not what I felt, it wasn't real

Maybe I will wake up and this will all have been a dream, a sick nightmare

My eyes are heavy

I must rest

Why, why, why?

You promised...

Hello, are you there?

The sun seems to be blinding you with its rays 

I will have it sink into the mountains

But don't worry, I am right here

I will always protect you

When I see you squinting, I move the sun behind the clouds so you need not strain

Does it help?

Your heart sees what you eyes masquerade

I am right before you as I have always been and always will be

See the clouds, see how they move with easy, that is me, I move with you

Hear the loud thunder, this too is me, I am trying to get your attention but you are so distracted

Distracted my the need for happiness, the need to conform

I promised you joy, do you remember that promise?

All you need to do is listen

Listen to your heart, my child

Please just listen

Put you complete trust in me

Darkness has fallen and I feel your fear

Your eyes, they call out to me

I am right here

I'll take your hand so you do not feel alone

Do not take another step, there is no road there

Stay right here, back up a little

Ah, you are safe, I have you

But this cold, it could cause frostbite

Here, let me wrap you up

That is better, you are in my arms, my love will cease the shivering

You pull away from me as if you are being tormented

I know evil thrusts itself upon you

It is masked as greatness, it lures you

Do not fall victim to its idle and empty promises

You are tormented so, here let me settle your soul

I love you, my child, let go of this torment

Stop holding on

Let go and you will be free

Free to feel joy

Feel to know love

I want for you to be free

I hear your pleas and I answer but you do not hear

You turn your heart from me

I will persist

I will keep speaking until you are ready to hear me

Concern yourself not with what others have 

This, too, is the lure of evil

Perception may only be an illusion

Truth is, you have me

You have my love 

You have my promise

But I cannot make you accept it

I want so badly for you to accept it but the choice is yours

Free will, too, my promise 

Free will often manifests in distractions

I understand but that will not stop me from calling you

It will not stop me from loving you

It will not stop me from walking with you every second of your life

As you sit in my arms, I feel your fear

You need not fear the shadow for it is simply a casting of the sun's ray attempting to warm you but you hide

Do not hide, I am here, I will protect you

I hear you say this is not fair

My child, life is not fair

Fairness is a concocted ideal which harnesses only inequalities and comparisons

The fairness is, my child, I will always love you

I will always welcome you into my arms no matter how many times you ignore me

Do you remember when you willfully took my hand and we walked several paths together but the road became cluttered with thorns and thistles and you ran from me?

I ran with you, step for step

I am here, right next to you but you look past me

I wipe your tears as they fall from your cheeks

A river I have filled with these tears

It is time for joy to become your companion

Time for you to rid yourself of this obsession with happiness

Happiness is short lived 

Determined by external tangibles, happiness is extinguished like that of a match

Joy is eternal 

Joy is my gift to you

Will you accept this gift?

I know you can feel my presence, you toss and turn

You hear my voice and you cry out your needs

Your heart is my connection to your life

Our souls forever connected

I have brought you into this stillness that you may hear

That you may not be distracted by the revolving noise of humanity

But you have brought this noise with you

Shhh...you feel that stillness, it is me

As you toss about on the ground, I will blanket you with my love

Be with me in this moment

In this darkness I want you to see my face

I know the air is chilled but I am your warmth

Be still

Let the angst of the mind be settled by my love

You fight so, be still

I will wrestle with your demons but you have to give them to me

Let go

You need not be the hero and carry these demons, they bring about misery

They wrestle...these demons and truth

Wanting conformity

Wanting happiness

The heart knows truth

It attempts to settle your restless soul

My promise, I shall keep

Yes, yes, you felt...

Speak to me, you felt...

I know you felt love

I know you felt my presence

Say it, it is your secret weapon, this will pin your demons

The mind wants the win, it needs this feeling to be fictitious 

It is real, honor it, say you felt love...

You are not ready, I understand

That does not mean I will leave

I will never leave your side

I will bombard you with love

Bombard you with my presence 

And one day you will accept my promise

I guess things are not always as they seem...