Tick, tick, tick

Our hearts knows your call yet mind bids it farewell for it feeds on the struggles, the doubts and the anxieties with which society accepts as normalcy.  Aggravation, stress and sleep deprivation bring only restless nights and sullen days.  We watch as the hands of the clock almost spin out of control and then we reach out as if to stop the hands of time.  Unsuccessful, the hands still turn; hours become days and each one more restless than the next.  

Tick tock, tick tock…it is as if we are the narrator in Edgar Allen Poe’s The Tell-Tale Heart.  Every sound has us looking over our shoulder, each creek haunts as it echoes in the mind festering defensive disbelief and abandoned disquietude.  Instantaneously, life becomes a rat race and we the rat in the middle of the maze, lost with no prospects of finding the cheese.  In circles we run, each thought exit, a dead end.  The heart beats uncontrollably for in the background all that is heard is, “tick, tick, tick”.  Feverishly the race continues, we mustn’t here the proverbial tock for that would signify the end…the end of what, an hour, a day, a year, a lifetime?  Scattered thoughts provocatively vex the spirit and the body runs without purpose, without instruction, without guidance for its only reason for flight is to escape the noise.  Little does it know that the noise is filtered by the mind and no matter how far or how long one runs, it cannot out run the chatter of the mind.  Blood pumping through the veins, the body shows signs of anxious adrenaline causing rapid breaths and unsteady balance.  Unable to focus, the eyes see only what the mind fabricates with its discriminatory mind.  Tauntingly, life becomes an illusion of what is, what could be and what the mind projects as reality; all which dangle before us like a carrot, just out of reach.  Unable to discern fact from fiction, the race continues, doors closed causing the maze to become more constricting and claustrophobic.  With each shallow breath solicitude ensues encasing the body in deplorable disgust as well as a cacophony of derogatory insults; each perpetuated by the mind with the intent of incessant movement within the maze where the echo of, “tick, tick, tick” incites insanity.  Lost, the world blurred and a listless spirit, the body blindly follows the mind in hopes of recovery, in hopes of understanding, in hopes of a reprieve from constant motion.  It is only the constant motion which keeps us at arms length from the heart for the constant motion causes interference thus jumbling the sound seemingly haunting the soul.  The race continues to the point of physical exhaustion, to the point where stress invites disease that the body my slow down.  Always attempting to evade the ‘tock’ makes for a cumbersome life for the weight of the world rests on our shoulders; and, unable to measure up to the expectations of society, the mind chastises and our need for success heightens.  Unable to take the tick, tick, ticking, the narrator rips up the floor boards exposing his crime.  What is our breaking point?  How long will we run from the tick, tick, ticking until we realize it is an internal tick purposefully juxtaposed by the mind to create paralysis that we may remain captive in its clutches?

If we but stop, if we but listen with the heart, not the filter of the mind we would come to understand that it is not a tick, tick, tick which we hear but rather a beat, beat, beat.  It is the sound of our heart synchronizing with the Father; it is the sound of each breath inhaled in love and exhaled in faith.  We run not in a confine maze with walls and doors; indeed, it seems that way for the mind projects its own reality, but we run free with the Father, free with the Son and free with the Spirit.  Free will, our choice, and faith our purpose; life is a path of greenery, a path of sand, a path of wooded shrubbery, all our choice but with faith our purpose each choice regulated with love.  We have no need to run, just stop and be; stop and feel each beat, beat, beat.  Take a breath, breathe in life, breathe in hope, breathe in love as the Father loves us, He comes to us in each beat.  We need to take off the blinders of the mind that we may not run from each beat; embracing each beat brings us closer to the Father but also closer to ourselves and to others.  Take the path of greenery and listen, the beat is ever present for it is our call to share in the holiness of the Father, share in His love that we may become love in this melting pot of ideals, melting pot of  expectations necessitated by the mind, our captor.  Should we choose the path of sand, still the beat continues for it is the call from our heart to settle into the person of God.  In the presences of the Father we shall remain enveloped in love and saturated in peace for these are the words of the heart; each beat tells a story, a love story written by the Father for us, His children.  When one chapter comes to an end and a new setting is created, we may find ourselves walking among the trees, deep in the forest; yet we will not fear for the beat plays on…beat, beat, beat…the call of the heart, the voice of God.  

And so tick, tick, tick or beat, beat, beat the choice is ours; an easy choice but a difficult execution for the mind is persuasive and loud while the heart is loving and gentle; however, the heart is also strong and determined.  The tick, tick, tick will never dissipate because the heart will never surrender, it will not give in to defeat for each beat is the Father’s call to bring us home.  Let us choose to hear the beat, beat, beat and live life in solace, rendered in love, unjuxtaposed by the mind.