Missing

Missing, wishing things were different yet retaining a course consistent with missing.  Waves of memories, reminiscing of laughter and completeness now a void; something, someone missing.  Want to hear a voice once more, the inability to do so makes the void pain.  Looking up from the path, the sun beats down upon the face, warming the cheeks.  For the moment, the missing settles; for the moment just being in the moment love fills the soul as it once was, love begins to heal the pain.  When I was tiny, you took my hand, you comforted my pain, you held me and consoled my aching heart; as I grew, nothing changed, you still took my hand in yours, comforted different pains, taught me respect, taught me loyalty and consoled my aching heart.  I look now, for you hand, I look for that beautiful smile, the smile of the eye and see it only in my memories for humanity has taken its toll.  My wanting is the same, my needing is the same; though I am older I selfishly want you all the same, on my terms, the terms I once knew.  The path is the same, the Father shows me the way, He holds me close, whispering love, peace and mercy.  My heart knows your presence along this path and yet my humanity blocks such interaction.  But the moment, the moment I stopped, the moment I let my thoughts go, the moment I saw with my heart and felt with my soul is the moment I heard your voice and felt your touch.  Distractions take such moments making the missing, the longing for one more interaction, that much more painful, that much more lonely.  If I bust step back from my mind I clearly see your face, I clearly hear your voice, I clearly feel your love overwhelm my being.  My humanity wants an impossibility but my heart knows the reality of a connection spanning death, knowing life exists within connections of the heart, connections of the soul.  Training the heart to be heard over the mind, that is what the moment is for; marking a path in the sun.  My face warm, my heart warmer yet for love radiates from my soul; you are near, you are near, you are loving, you are with me.  Along this path I see your presence and I smile.  Tossing aside human thought, I know your presence, our connection grows stronger; you are with me.  Along the path I walk, the Father takes one alpha down as you take the other; a warm breeze kisses my cheek and my soul filled with joy for this moment, I know, can be my lifetime if I just learn to listen; if I just remember to be in the moment.  The sprint to the next event blindsides the moments filled with you.  I hang up my track shoes to feel each toe in the sand, each toe tickled by the blades of grass, each toe sink into the freshly tiled soil, each toe cooled by the tiny waves.  No need have I to make life a race, a sprint to nowhere; every need have I to breathe the reality of our eternal connection and embrace such the reality of love.  Never have I questioned your love for me, never have I spent a restless night wondering if your love would settle my soul.  I knew, as I know now,  your love makes me whole, your love is my love, your love runs through my veins, overwhelming my being, managing my humanity.  The missing will continue to burden but with each breath, with each moment the closeness I feel, the wholeness I regain.  In this moment I reach out my heart and you fill it with love and I smile.  My path filled with sunlight, filled with awareness, filled with us.  Connections span humanity for our life is eternal in the Father, eternal in His love; His love which you passed along to me.  Missing settles in this moment, settled with your constant love.  My eyes wide to see what the heart reveals in truth...you are right here with me.