This moment

I have no words for my mind, it races with what is to come and timeframes of sorts. To listen I must stop, not just the body but the mind as well yet, in this moment, I am inundated with words, phrases of humanity blocking my heart, impeding upon my moment of closeness. I know it is not the Father who eludes me but I Him; why?  Even with the knowledge of controlling my thoughts, even with the understanding that the Father is present; still I am derailed. Tiredness formulates my path, in a direction furthest from my heart. Though I see my heart’s destination, I sit, captivated by nothing and everything at the same time. So here I am, Father, far yet not wanting distance. I know not why I struggle, I only know that I do. So here I am, Your child, wanting to be close yet pushing You away or diving into every shadow hoping not to be seen.  I know You follow my heart, thus my track mean nothing.  Instead of slowing down, I speed up yet I am remain in the same place. It is my mind which haunting, its trickery is brutal; I need Your help to deviate from this new norm.  In silence I sit yet tormented by words, my words, my voice, not Yours. Louder, speak louder that I may stop the nonsense of my brain for it is Your words that I need to hear. As tired sets in, I feel the warmth of Your love. I know You are close, let me take another moment to be.  Be with You, be the me who listens, who sits, who accepts Your love as my own, who leads with the heart. Your voice can be heard over my own; I hear Your call.  Here I am, shape me; do with me Your will. I carry with me Your blessings, Your will, my will. Faith my strongest of blessings, allowing me to see when the scales cover my eyes. And I know that even when I wander, it is faith which keeps the wandering minimal.  This is me being blessed even when the darkness falls.  This is me not knowing a course yet scouting no direction for I recognize Your closeness, Your warmth is upon me, noting need I fear. Eventually the mind will cease and the words will fall from distraction. Until then I will sit, not fighting just loving, just being loved without condition, being held to the point of security. The mind gives way and the heart permitted to drive. As tears stream the cheeks I am rejuvenated in Your love, repurposed in Your hope and my direction distinctively clear for the scales have fallen from my eyes and clearly I see my now; clearly I hear my now. Your face, Your voice, both, my now, once again You rescue me from myself. Time will come, path again mind, but for now I will reap the reward...You. Thank you Father for rescuing me, in the darkness I came to fear for it was my mind that spoke tormenting words drowning out the heart. But now, this moment, the sun warms my face, reminding me of Your truths, reminding me I am love. So here I am, in this moment, a moment granted by You. Thank you for this moment and the opportunity to feel Your love. In the future, this path may elude me yet the feeling will never leave; therefore, in my staleness  You are able to refresh my soul for this moment I forever cherish.  Words have silenced, the heart now speaks creating an attentive mind. It is in bended knee that in seize this moment and learn appreciation for each moment which draws me closer to You. This moment, my awareness of Your unconditional love for me. This moment, my awareness of my need to remain close to You. This moment, my moment of recognition of a bond, our hearts intertwined, love my reward to a life embodied by faith. This moment, my moment, my clarity revealed.